Goodbye, Farewell, Aufwiedersehen, Adieu…*

I have been preoccupied with goodbyes since last August, and they’re wearing me out.

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Moving our Boy three hours away one day and our Oldest 17 hours away two days later was a terrible wrench. Life completely changed, and I grieved for weeks. Hence “Mom Goes On” as a coping tool. It helps to write out my feelings. Some.

I hung my hopes on Christmas, when all five of us would be together again. Family time, old jokes, much joy. But Oldest Sister was only home for a week. We were lucky to have her that long, and I now have to face up to the fact that the life stage I’ve dreaded for 23 years has arrived. She will no longer call our house “home base.” When her week was up, we had to say good-bye again and re-adjust to a smaller household, a different paradigm.

The Husband had a big good-bye, as well. He packed himself up and headed off for three weeks up north for his new job. That was rough – neither of us has ever had a job before that requires extended periods apart. But it was a positive change, and we were happy. For three days, that is… when he discovered that he’d broken his rib and had to come back home. Another readjustment of paradigm, and now we have to anticipate that huge goodbye all over again once he’s healed.

Over the weekend The Boy headed back to college for his winter/spring semester. We’ll see him occasionally in the next few months (and I’ll steel myself against those repeated goodbyes), and then he’ll return for the summer when we’ll forge a new normal again. After that extended time home I know it’ll be another difficult goodbye and readjustment.

One anchor during this time is Middle Sister, who has chosen to live at home during college. I love having her with us. Her classes resume today and she’ll be out of the house and wrapped up in school most of the time, but sometimes we can share a meal, a joke, a good movie. I’m thankful that’s one goodbye that’s in the distant future.

I’ve dealt with plenty of difficult parenting situations over the years. There’s no getting around the fact that it’s one of the hardest jobs in the world. Even when your kids are well-behaved, high achievers, and generally happy and healthy there’s always something lurking around the corner that forces you to think frantically on your feet, close your eyes, hold your breath, and hope for the best. Never any guarantees that what you’ve done will work…you just keep trying and keep hoping.

I had no expectations that parenting would be easy. Equally, I always knew that when this “goodbye time” finally arrived, it would be the biggest, most painful thing of all. Doesn’t matter what language you say it in…I hate goodbyes.

*Quite funny end-note: Spell check wanted me to correct “aufwiedersehen” to “undernourished.” Not even close…

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