Our Superbowl celebration last night was at the home of old friends. Three families together again, having been pals since we first began having kids 23 years ago. We supported each other through a collective nine pregnancies (though only eight births, sadly) and several major illnesses. Together we went to church, Chiefs games, camping trips, 4th of July fireworks, New Years celebrations. We’ve cared for and cheered for each others’ children. A couple of years ago the eight kids designed and ordered t-shirts depicting each of them as hilarious stick-people figures. Now, as the last two of our kids graduate high school in May, we’re figuring out how to do empty nests together.
Last night’s party looked significantly different than what we’re used to. Two kids in attendance instead of eight. No diapers, car seats, or trying to get anyone to sleep. No one stomping up and down the stairs in dress-up clothes (this actually happened regularly even in the high school years).
The other two moms and I discussed last night what happens next. One has given notice in her job of recent years and is planning to sell their house and buy some land where they can keep livestock. One would like to leave her job, but can’t with two kids in college…and besides, what would she do with all that time on her hands? I’d like to work maybe half time, but finances are an issue for our family, as well.
These are big issues…but the biggest is the loss of our focus for so many years. Having kids who were all friends was a commonality, but certainly not the only reason we stuck together. We’ll continue to be friends once everyone’s out of the nest. But there’s grieving, individually and collectively. It’s all different, and we loved how it used to be. I’m sure we’ll find new interests…
But it will never be the same.
2 thoughts on “Moms go on…but we have no idea where we’re going.”
Turning the page on a new chapter can be tough, and exciting.
It will be nice if I ever find the exciting part. Right now I only see the tough part.