“E’s” in ABC’s of Parenting

imageI was kind of stuck for a good “E” word in this fabulously entertaining ABC’s of Parenting series, until I reflected on a dream I had last night. Now I know that “E” is for empty, everything, and echo.

You see, I had this brilliant, spur-of-the-moment decision to 1) get rid of The Boy’s ancient mattress and then his outdated loft bed, 2) have him completely pack up every belonging in his bedroom for storage, and 3) redecorate and refurnish the room for multi-purpose use.

The room is now empty of everything that reminded me of his childhood, and my voice echoes when I step inside.

What on earth was I thinking?

My dream last night involved a large house with many rooms and much interesting furniture. I had my own special room that I had decorated and made into the perfect space for me. I went away for a time, and returned to find it emptied and used for some other purpose. Pretty obviously The Boy’s bedroom was weighing heavily on my mind.

Does he feel shoved aside or unimportant? Will he feel he no longer has a place at home? He says not, and I do think he’s not as sentimental about things as I am. But still, I wonder. Will this change make him feel disconnected and sever ties more rapidly?
Heavy sigh.

We legitimately need that space to be more useful, especially when The Boy is away as he will continue to be for almost nine months out of the year. It’s possible that had I actually taken time to stop and think about the emotional ramifications of this project I never would have gone forward with it, though it really does need to be done.

But oh, the emptiness and the echo…

Update on Middle Sister: Surgery was uncomplicated and successful. She feels quite rotten, but it’s nothing more than you would expect one day post-op. Her main problem is, I think, that she was expecting gall bladder surgery to be rather like when she had her wisdom teeth out – she was up and pretty normal again on the day after that procedure. We’ll all be glad when we’re a few days down the line and she actually starts to feel better and notice the difference the surgery made.

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2 thoughts on ““E’s” in ABC’s of Parenting

  1. I understand that empty echo. Our daughter has been away almost 5 years. I recently took down all the little positive affirmation signs she had taped everywhere. Her room is still the most awful neon green, which I have been meaning to paint, but haven’t gotten around to it. I suppose it’s time. No matter how long I wait, it doesn’t appear that she will be moving back home with us. May as well use that empty room. sigh

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    • Yes, it’s sad and lonely, isn’t it, coming to this point. One thing I learned (again) from this experience: Don’t make big decisions in the midst of stress and over-busyness.

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