Household mysteries

I’m not exactly in top form today, and little things are beginning to take on obnoxiously large proportions in my mind. Probably it would be better for me to just chill and move on, but instead I’m going to wallow for a moment…

This. This is what a full box of Kleenex looks like, people. Take some responsibility!

This. This is what a full box of Kleenex looks like, people. Take some responsibility!

1. Why is no one else in this household able to replace a box of Kleenex when it’s empty? And why do all the boxes go empty at the same time? This morning I disposed of no less than THREE empty boxes, which means meticulously pulling the stupid plastic thingy off so the box can be put into the recycling bin. AAAAAAAAARGHHHHH

2. Why do our copies of the “New Yorker” always arrive with the cover in tatters? We get a couple of other magazines regularly and they’re always in perfect condition when they hit our mailbox. Does someone in our local postal delivery system despise this particular publication?

3. **Warning** This one is rather vulgar – approach with caution: WTH??? (And I’ll admit I wanted to use “F” here instead of “H.” That’s the kind of mood I’m in today.) I just noticed this morning that the panty liners we’ve been purchasing have a diagram of several increasingly smaller panty liners printed right on the surface. It looks something like a shooting practice target. I’m sorry, Kotex Company, but I have to tell you my nether regions do not have the sentience to pay heed to your oh-so-helpful targeting system.

4. Why is there trash in my driveway? In the last couple of weeks our garbage collectors have become, in reality, garbage-strewers. I watched the mechanical arm on the truck not completely empty our trash can. Then I watched the human being get out of the truck and dump some more of the trash into the truck. Then I watched as tons of disgusting detritus fell to the ground in front of our house and got LEFT THERE. I do appreciate that these guys are on a tight schedule. But I’m pretty sure I’ve already done my part of the job in following the rules about the exact placement of my trash can. They could do their part of the job and actually remove all of my trash.

Yes, I believe that spewing these confounding household mysteries has purged my system. For now. Thank you, and good day.

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13 thoughts on “Household mysteries

  1. Ba ha ha ha! I know you probably weren’t in a funny mood when you wrote this, but it made me seriously chuckle. I had this happen with the tissues and the toilet paper this week and I wondered the same thing. Nobody can stop to replace the box or the roll? Not funny at the time. Funny that others go through the same thing! – Angie

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    • You know, it’s a funny thing…actually, writing that post and trying to look at my gripes in a slightly amusing way really did help me get over my funk. It hadn’t occurred to me before how much writing really helps…even though that’s exactly why I started this blog in the first place!

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  2. LOL. I am sorry you had a bad day. And as far as the tissue…I feel your frustration. In my house you can add in putting a new roll of toilet paper on the holder. I saw a sign I wanted to get in a magazine. It said “Changing the toilet paper roll does not cause brain damage!” I think my kids need this. πŸ˜‰ And really how hard is it to put it on the “right” way. Sheesh!
    ~ Carol

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    • What a great sign! I don’t like those days when stupid little things make me so pissy – thank goodness they’re not very frequent! And surprisingly it really did help to write about it and then enjoy the comments on the post. Thanks! πŸ™‚

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  3. πŸ™‚ I live in the same universe. The other day, my husband walked in with a piece of paper and said he found it in the street. It obviously came from our recycling bin because it was a colorful affirmation I had removed from my daughters wall in anticipation of finally believing she isn’t coming back home to live. All the other stuff is the same at our house too, except it is mainly with the changing of the toilet paper.

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