I’m not exactly in top form today, and little things are beginning to take on obnoxiously large proportions in my mind. Probably it would be better for me to just chill and move on, but instead I’m going to wallow for a moment…
1. Why is no one else in this household able to replace a box of Kleenex when it’s empty? And why do all the boxes go empty at the same time? This morning I disposed of no less than THREE empty boxes, which means meticulously pulling the stupid plastic thingy off so the box can be put into the recycling bin. AAAAAAAAARGHHHHH
2. Why do our copies of the “New Yorker” always arrive with the cover in tatters? We get a couple of other magazines regularly and they’re always in perfect condition when they hit our mailbox. Does someone in our local postal delivery system despise this particular publication?
3. **Warning** This one is rather vulgar – approach with caution: WTH??? (And I’ll admit I wanted to use “F” here instead of “H.” That’s the kind of mood I’m in today.) I just noticed this morning that the panty liners we’ve been purchasing have a diagram of several increasingly smaller panty liners printed right on the surface. It looks something like a shooting practice target. I’m sorry, Kotex Company, but I have to tell you my nether regions do not have the sentience to pay heed to your oh-so-helpful targeting system.
4. Why is there trash in my driveway? In the last couple of weeks our garbage collectors have become, in reality, garbage-strewers. I watched the mechanical arm on the truck not completely empty our trash can. Then I watched the human being get out of the truck and dump some more of the trash into the truck. Then I watched as tons of disgusting detritus fell to the ground in front of our house and got LEFT THERE. I do appreciate that these guys are on a tight schedule. But I’m pretty sure I’ve already done my part of the job in following the rules about the exact placement of my trash can. They could do their part of the job and actually remove all of my trash.
Yes, I believe that spewing these confounding household mysteries has purged my system. For now. Thank you, and good day.