Hanging tough…sort of

This week is one of those crazy times we all encounter sometimes.

It is perhaps my busiest time of the year at work. The marathon day of meetings I’m responsible for on Sunday looms in the back of my mind constantly, even though at this point I’m as prepared as I possibly can be. Whatever happens Sunday just has to happen because…

Today and tomorrow are completely filled up with packing and moving The Boy back to college. Which, of course, entails several shopping trips to make sure he has all the supplies he needs to stay alive until he comes home again.

And then there’s the normal weekend stuff that absolutely has to be done – grocery shopping, paying bills…yuck.

All while trying not to be an emotional wreck.

One year ago almost to the day it was even worse. Moving The Boy away for the very first time. Moving Oldest 17 hours away for the next five or six years.

I’ve gotten over that initial shock of emptyish nest (for the most part). But this year, even though moving my boy away isn’t quite such a wrench, there’s the added weirdness of having The Husband on the road for who knows how long.

This saying as always cracked me up, but it really fits how I’m feeling just now: “I don’t know how to act.”

This morning I was trying to make out a grocery list for today’s trip, but I was stumped. I asked Middle Sister to help me figure out what we needed to buy for feeding just the two of us in the coming week. I could hardly get the words out without tearing up. Not sure why this aspect of empty nest hits me so hard, but it does.

Sigh.

I guess I’ll just do what I always do when everything seems completely overwhelming. Put my head down, take a deep breath, and plow through.

And hope I don’t make a fool of myself by breaking down and blubbering as I walk away from The Boy’s dorm tomorrow.

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11 thoughts on “Hanging tough…sort of

  1. 😦 I know how you feel!! I am feeling terribly sorry for myself that my husband is making the trek to Canada to help my son move to University for the first time and I have to stay here and go to work and stay with my Daughter.

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  2. {{{hugs}}} I set out a plate for my daughter the other day . . . I do this every now and again. My heart forgets sometimes that she has moved away, married, and isn’t coming to sit down for dinner. I miss her, there’s no way to stop it. Sometimes my mom calls me just to say she misses me, she wishes I could just stop by for a while. I don’t think these feelings ever truly go away.

    I remember when the kids were little thinking how wonderful it would be for the house to just be quiet for a while. Now it can become too quiet every now and again.

    I still have the three boys at home, but they are solitary creatures much of the time, nothing like the rambunctious little trolls they used to be. Most of the time. My youngest is sprinting toward 18, he will be the next one to spread his wings. I try not to think about it too much.

    I don’t remember who I used to be so I am trying to figure out who I am now. It’s a strange place sometimes, isn’t it?

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      • Now I suppose you find, somehow, a new part of yourself, or maybe a part you tucked away long ago. I’m not sure where I tucked things away or if I have anything new to offer the world just yet, especially since my grown children are still children in some ways. The future came much faster than I’d anticipated!

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        • I feel the same way. The weird thing for me is that I did discover a new part of myself while the kids were still young – published author. But I almost feel like “Well, I’ve had three big identities now – mom, teacher/administrator, and author. Any more would be beyond me.” What a crappy attitude that seems to be. Surely there’s more ahead, but I sure can’t think what it would be.

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          • I think it’s one of those things we find when we stop looking maybe . . . Perhaps it’s time to publish again, I always feel a little more of myself when I share my words. We are in uncharted territory, even looking at the paths others have forged is difficult because we are all so different. Standing on faith is the only way I can keep solid footing.

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