As has been briefly and obliquely mentioned here recently, I’ve had some kind of interesting issues come up at work in the last couple of weeks. Issues that, quite honestly, I’d rather let lie. Because resolving them is turning out to be long, difficult, painful, and involving some in-your-face skills that I have not practiced much in my lifetime. I’m going to have to go up against a couple of people who are kind of intimidating, and who have some pretty different opinions from me.
But I’m in the right. And I have the support of other co-workers for whom I have all the respect in the world. And in the midst of this conflict, I’ve discovered a couple of things.
First, I care about my work and my workplace. There have been times when my energy and enthusiasm have waned a bit; I think that’s probably to be expected when you’re in the same job for over ten years. But the issue that’s come up has shown me what I value and what I’m willing to fight for. It’s shown me that I’m good at what I do and I want to keep doing it – and keep making sure it gets done the right way.
Second, I’m finding out that I might actually have a streak of toughness that hasn’t been tapped to date. Probably this has to do with age, maturity, and experience. After all I’ve lived through 29 years of marriage (which has included some pretty crappy health challenges thrown our way), raising three awesome but challenging kids (what kids aren’t challenging) and two separate careers. But, strangely, I think it also has to do with the freakish hormones that are trying to control me at this point in my life. I’m feeling pretty snappish lately, and harnessing that snappishness in a calm and effective way will probably help in this particular situation. So hey, maybe this perimenopause thing isn’t so bad after all.
In other words, I am about to become a bad-ass.