My theory: Men are gross.

I’m thrilled to have our boy home. The Husband’s weekend will have been only 26 hours long, but I’m glad he got home for at least that much.

But you want know what I am 100% guaranteed to find tomorrow when I sweep the stairs? Because our house has hardwood floors and I have to sweep the stairs every couple of days because they are a dust and grime magnet.

imageToenails and fingernails. Way too big for them to be mine or our daughter’s.

Every time there’s been a male in the house, there are dead finger and toenails on the stairs. Every. Damn. Time.

Why? I have no idea. Somehow I am able to place my trimmings in the trash can. The petite, trimmed nails of the females in the family are never found lurking in the piles of dust I sweep off the stairs. Only the nasty, enormous ones.

Perhaps men’s nails naturally contain some sort of electric charge that repels them from the trash can, where any normal person would place their discarded bodily detritus.

Or perhaps my titular theory is correct.

9 thoughts on “My theory: Men are gross.

  1. I could brag because my son is never so gross as to leave his nail clippings on the stairs. Except that our house doesn’t have stairs, and he never remembers to cut his fingernails, so it’s not much of a brag. At least your son does remember to trim his nails! I have these visions of my son coming home for Thanksgiving break after his first few months of college, and his fingernails being 2″ long. (Right now, the only reason he cuts his nails is me shaking his hand when we pass the peace in church, and me saying, “Peace… and you really need to cut those nails tonight.”)

    Liked by 1 person

    • On rereading, that “brag” thing didn’t come out joke-y the way I wanted it to — oops. Imagine it edited. Especially since my son does definitely live up to your “men are gross” theme. For him it’s leaving hair bits all over the sink every time he shaves. Why is it male personal hygiene lends itself to grossness?

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Yikes, that is gross! I thought this was going to be a pee story but this is pretty bad too. My husband clips his nails over the bathroom sink and then rinses them away (I didn’t train him to do that, he came that way) maybe you could suggest this to them?

    Liked by 1 person

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