7th grade boy humor

What do you do when you go to work early specifically to deal with a bunch of emails before you start in on a day full of meetings, only to discover that your laptop insists on doing updates for a full 45 minutes?

Write a post using your handy iPad, of course.

So yesterday afternoon at middle school migration time (4:00, when herds of 7th and 8th graders walk down our sidewalk every weekday on the way home from school, and when I have to be on guard to protect our Little Free LIbrary from vandalism), I saw one of the boys divert from the sidewalk to our front porch.

He rang the doorbell, and looking quizzically at my daughter and friend, who were hanging out with me yesterday afternoon, I went to the front door.

Kid (holding out a folded scrap of paper): Here, I have something for you.

Me (as a former teacher, ever wary of boys bearing gifts): I’m not taking that. Open it up and show me.

Kid (unfolding the scrap of paper and tossing it on the porch): Hah! Gotcha!

Me (as the kid runs down the sidewalk to the uproarious laughter of his friends): What the hell was that?

Here’s the note:

Apparently, to a middle school boy, this is the height of humor. It tooks some tooling around on Urban Dictionary to discover that “Deeze Nuts” is the punchline to a Youtube video. Sort of like “you’ve been punked.”

Meanwhile, I’m reeling. I don’t want to be all “Kids these days!” but for Pete’s sake, I would have died a million deaths before punking an adult to her face when I was that age. Obviously these little %@$#!* have upped the ante, and I have no idea what to expect next.

My only recourse is to set our 6’3″ son, who comes home from college tomorrow, in the front yard every day at 4:00 until school is out.

I can only hope his withering disdain and intimidating height will keep these masters of humor at bay.