Failing at Facebook, failing at life.

Facebook has been trying to get my attention for some time now. Rather, some people I’m “friends” with appear to have an important message for me:
I really suck.

The evidence:

Not only do I seem to hate my MOM, but I hate her so much I didn’t even take 2 sec. to decide whether to share. Just scrolled right past, writhing in disgust.

I really excelled with this one. I have two sisters, and still couldn’t be bothered to share this meaningful meme.

Not getting into the pit bull debate, but I’ll tell you this: They’re plug-ugly. I don’t “heart” them, and I’m not sharing.

So it turns out I’m neither proud of my sisters, love them with my whole heart, nor can I simply not imagine my life without them. In addition, I am repulsed by the juxtaposition of Pooh Bear and Tweety Bird. I am obviously evil.

Now I’m failing as a mom, because I didn’t share this genuine, authentic expression of love with my two daughters. Plus this image is pissing me off because it’s so blurry it’s making my head hurt. I expect my girls are now scarred for life.

And my son (and everyone) will never know how proud I am of him because I didn’t share this odd little guy running around in a cape and underwear. Because of course I would never actually tell my son in person that I love him with all my heart and am proud of him.

In the end, I can’t even love Jesus right. Didn’t share this one…largely because it looks like the guy on the left is just about to impale one of those little cherubs with his long pointy. Surely I’m going to hell.

I might be induced to share this one. Surely that’s evidence enough that I am the personification of a Facebook failure.

And proud of it.

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