It’s my third time around for this experience, and it’s honestly harder than it was last year – probably because of a ton of other stressors I’m dealing with at the same time. But bottom line? MIssing my extra-super-wonderful kids is the worst of it.
My heart leaps when I see the name of our Oldest on my phone screen, as it alerts me to a call or a text. Though my impending visit to her on the east coast is two months away, I’m dwelling happily on that time together.
Our son is super-busy with his R.A. training (not to mention busy being back in the same city with his girlfriend), and is on his own for breakfasts each day. Knowing how unlikely he is to bother making sure he’s eating decent food, I sent him this text this morning:
Middle is wrapped up in her many babysitting jobs, the beginning of her “professional” year to prepare her for teaching, and her dear and adorable boyfriend. Even though our house is still her home base, I miss her company.
Often I see posts and writings from people in this same empty nest stage of life, offering what is meant to be empowering advice: “Discover who you are! Take this time to learn new skills and enjoy the breathing space!”
That advice makes me want to hurl.
I know who I am. I’m pretty damn secure in my professional life and I’m confident in my skills. Yes, I have always been very wrapped up in our awesome kids. But that’s because a big part of who I am is one hell of a good mom.
And so I say to those “rah rah” empty nesters:
Shut up and let me wallow for a while.