Just keep momming…

  
Here I am, at the end of the summer, once again grieving over the whole emptying next thing.

It’s my third time around for this experience, and it’s honestly harder than it was last year – probably because of a ton of other stressors I’m dealing with at the same time. But bottom line? MIssing my extra-super-wonderful kids is the worst of it.

My heart leaps when I see the name of our Oldest on my phone screen, as it alerts me to a call or a text. Though my impending visit to her on the east coast is two months away, I’m dwelling happily on that time together.

Our son is super-busy with his R.A. training (not to mention busy being back in the same city with his girlfriend), and is on his own for breakfasts each day. Knowing how unlikely he is to bother making sure he’s eating decent food, I sent him this text this morning:

 

Fruit and nut medley is my desperate effort to make sure he gets at least some fiber and protein – it’s a trail mix from Costco.

 
Middle is wrapped up in her many babysitting jobs, the beginning of her “professional” year to prepare her for teaching, and her dear and adorable boyfriend. Even though our house is still her home base, I miss her company. 

Often I see posts and writings from people in this same empty nest stage of life, offering what is meant to be empowering advice: “Discover who you are! Take this time to learn new skills and enjoy the breathing space!”

That advice makes me want to hurl. 

I know who I am. I’m pretty damn secure in my professional life and I’m confident in my skills. Yes, I have always been very wrapped up in our awesome kids. But that’s because a big part of who I am is one hell of a good mom.  

And so I say to those “rah rah” empty nesters:

Shut up and let me wallow for a while. 

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9 thoughts on “Just keep momming…

  1. Will be wallowing right along with you in a few weeks. The one activity I’ve taken up, in effort to follow all the traditional advice and get busy with something new as a child leaves the nest, is volunteering in the pantry portion of the local soup kitchen. But I strongly suspect that doling out eggs and frozen corn are not going to fill the same place in my heart that parenting has.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Few comments made me laugh out loud, but your last sentence did the trick. No, there is no volunteering job that will take the place of being a parent. But I really hope your efforts at distraction help some.

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  2. Wallow away! I loved reading your honest and beautiful post. I was hoping that you were going to tell me that motherhood gets easier after my son turns 15 months old! 😉 Just kidding! Thanks for sharing this. You have inspired me to enjoy every moment, give myself permission to have vulnerable feelings, and JUST KEEP MOMMING. 🙂 Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Gosh, thanks. I can honestly say there was no age for my kids when I thought, “wow, I’ll be glad when he/she gets out of the house.” There were moments when we had struggles, but I was always very aware that our time together was limited. And now I miss them tons!

      Liked by 1 person

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