Welcome to crazy.

I would love to write a light, funny post today.

Instead, I have been sucked into the world of crazymakers.

You’ve surely run across these people. The ones who create havoc at every turn. The ones who do their level best to drag the rest of the world into their drama. The ones who deliver an ugly rant to cover their own insanity, doing their best to make sure you get the message that you, yourself, are actually the person who sucks.

Really, I truly hope you have never run across one of these people. I’ve run into them in the workplace and in volunteer situations. Never easy, but when they’re just kind of casually crossing your path, you can shrug it off.

Sadly, I’ve had at least three crazy makers in my extended family. And one of them is on the warpath right now. With every weapon in her arsenal pointing right at my head.

There’s so much baggage involved with this person I’d have to pay to check it even if I were traveling on Southwest.  (Apologies for the lame joke. I’m under stress.)

In the past I’ve survived by ignoring it, or by putting my head down and pretending everything was sunshine and light. It’s VERY obvious now that this strategy will no longer work. A long-term solution, complete with confrontation and grown-up conversation is going to have to take place. There will have to be extremely difficult decisions about how extended family gatherings will take place in the future, because the established routine is no longer possible. We don’t get much together time with our wonderful children as it is, and I refuse to allow the little time we have to be tainted by crazy.

I’m angry. Resentful. It’s not like I don’t have enough going on in my life. Now I get to use up whatlittle emotional energy I have left over at the end of the day on a situation I did not cause and I do not deserve.

So, as I say I really hope you’ve never had to put up with this kind of crap. But if you have, and if you have any words of encouragement, I’d love to hear them.


17 thoughts on “Welcome to crazy.

    • That sounds awesome. And very practical, to do the wine BEFORE the burying the head in the sand. It would be very hard to drink that way. But seriously, thank you for the support.


    • I totally get that. I’ve had to cut off two other family members already. I’ve had people ask me how on earth I turned out to be so “normal” when I’ve got a family full of crazy. It’s a mystery.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Confronting someone is never enjoyable and when you add family in the mix it complicates everything. There are sides to take and everyone has an opinion. I’m truly sorry you are going through this. I have no good advice but sending positive thoughts. You have to do what works for you- what helps you sleep at night. This individual sounds like a daytime soap that needs some new story lines but it isn’t up to you to write them if you don’t want to. Best of luck. Keep us posted. Sometimes writing about difficult things helps me.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. The one suggestion I’ve heard is that the more you provide explanations or excuses, the more opportunities you provide for someone to argue with you. So when Annoying Crazy Relative asks why you can’t drive 12 hours round trip for Great-Uncle Fred’s annual fruitcake party, you don’t explain all the things you’d rather be doing with your own kids. You just tell ACR, “Because I can’t.”

    It’s not unlike dealing with some preschoolers who keep asking “Why” when what they really mean is, “I’m going to keep pestering you until I get what I want or until you just firmly tell me ‘No.'”

    Good luck.

    Liked by 1 person

    • You are absolutely right. You really have to refuse to engage. I worked in a group home for a while, which housed adolescent boys who were one step from juvenile jail. One of our favorite phrases when we were having “interactions” with the kids (meaning confronting them with the facts of inappropriate behavior) was “We are finished with this conversation. This is too rewarding.” Perfect summation.

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  3. We have tons of those in our family. My grandfather, for instance. At first I tried to ignore him then that became too hard. Then I tried to find out the reason why he’s the way he is. Didn’t do me much good. Now, I have reached a point where I acknowledge his presence but don’t really let him affect me. Nobody deserves to deal with this. :/

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for that thought. I’m not sure what the way forward will look like, but I’m hanging on to the thought that I don’t deserve this, and if confrontation is the only way to get it out of my life, then so be it.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. We have one of those in my family too. They sure like to throw blame around, everywhere but in their own direction. They can certainly make family get-togethers a stressful event. I’ve always tried to look for the root cause of his behavior, in order to better justify it, but have yet to find anything. I feel for you. Sorry you have to deal with this.

    Liked by 1 person

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