A first step.

We’re having the most beautiful weather possible in my part of the world – cool temperatures and sunny skies. 

And I’ll be damned if I’m going to let the extended family crap I wrote about yesterday ruin this beauty. So I followed through with the excellent advice I received from three people I trust. And I was bouyed tremendously by helpful comments from blogging friends – thank you all, sincerely.

I made a phone call to make a lunch date, at which we’ll talk about what’s going on and what I have to do about it. The phone call was a big hurdle; the actual lunch date will be a nightmare. I’ll be discussing things with my dad that have been off limits my entire life. Laying out honestly exactly what his wife’s addiction has done to me over the last 40  years. Expressing my concern about how her behaviors are affecting him. And stating my refusal to allow her access to my life and my husband’s and kids’ lives any longer. 

Huge stuff. 

But I’ve made the commitment, and I’m determined to go through with it. 

And for now, I will enjoy this gorgeous weekend to its fullest. 

Breathe…

  

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14 thoughts on “A first step.

  1. Good luck. That sounds really painful to deal with, especially as it sounds like you’re trying to to navigate that awkward line of “I want nothing to do with your wife, but I do want to maintain a relationship with you.” Not easy.

    One devious practical suggestion, since you’ve set this up as lunch date which presumably has no fixed end time and could be really hard to leave — arrange with someone to text you 45 minutes after it starts, and an hour after it starts. If things are going well, you can ignore the texts. If things are going horrifically, you pretend the 45 minute text is a dire emergency and you need to leave ASAP. If things are going badly but not horrifically, you pretend the 45 minute text is something that means you’ll need to leave soon, and the 60 minute text means you really finally have to go.

    Always good to have an escape clause.

    Liked by 1 person

    • You’re brilliant! I have had family members go ring the doorbell when I need an out from a phone call, but I hadn’t thought of the “urgent text.” I’m doing it. Of course, he’s picking me up at work so there will still be the awkward ride back. So I’ll make sure we eat someplace very close to my office. I have no problem being devious in the interest of self-preservation.

      THIS is why I love blogging…thanks!😉

      Like

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