Our closest grocery store was only built a couple of years ago. Clean, bright, and shiny, it’s our go-to place for weekly shopping, even though it has some drawbacks.
A serious drawback appeared on last week’s weekly grocery trip. Only a day or two previously, our local major league team, the Kansas City Royals, had clenched their division for the first time in something like thirty years. (Though my non-sports brain doesn’t get that, since the team was in the World Series last year.) THIS is what greeted us as we entered the store:
Nope. When I stopped by yesterday for a middle-of-the-week run for fresh fruit and a few other staples, these two freaks were still doing welcoming duties, looking exactly as they did last Friday.
SOOOOOO many questions…
- Who, in the name of all that’s holy, thought this was a good idea?
- Torsos on stadium seats? Was management too cheap to spring for legs?
- Is our store observing Zombie Preparedness Week? (This is, apparently, a thing. It’s the name of some kind of state campaign to get people to plan ahead for severe weather events…weird.)
- The Husband’s contribution: Did that dude’s left hand cause him to sin? (That was the Gospel text in church last Sunday, so it sprang immediately to mind. You know, cutting off any body part that “causes you to sin?” Except it’s really meant to be metaphorical. As our pastor put it, “Funny, you never hear bible literalists quoting this passage.”)
- What is going on with those heads, which clearly do not match the bodies?
I demand answers.