Household wisdom.

Today I’ve created a  few folksy sayings for my mom friends out there. Feel free to use these in place of the more traditional versions, as needed.

If mama ain’t happy, shut up and do whatever mama wants.

Don’t cry over spilled milk. Save those tears for the day when someone spills vegetable oil. Then cry up a storm until your spouse takes pity on you and offers to clean it up.

A penny saved is a pain in the butt. Please don’t even bother putting it in the change jar.

An unmade bed is an abomination before the Lord.

You can’t have your cake… because I want it. I ate cold meals for the entire first year of your life when you needed to nurse during dinner. I deserve the cake.

There’s more than one way to skin a cat. And if the neighbor’s cat poops in my flower bed one more time I’m going to look into some of those ways.

Winners never quit. But quitters keep their parents from having to stand beside a frigid, soggy soccer field on a Saturday morning in March. And that’s a win.

Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water. Cuz that would just be mean. And it would clog the drain.
Use liberally. Enjoy!

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