For your own safety.

These may not be earth-shattering “Good Things To Know,” but if you live around here, they might come in handy:

1. When hanging out in this house and attempting to do anything on the internet, PLEASE: FOR YOUR OWN PEACE OF MIND, PUT A POST-IT ON THE MICROWAVE WARNING OTHER MEMBERS OF THE HOUSEHOLD NOT TO USE IT. It is an utter mystery why our microwave makes our router shut off. But you should hear the cussing when someone’s trying to complete a form, pay a bill, or undertake research and they’re suddenly cut off by some fool warming up a piece of banana bread.
2. If you happen to be driving down the six-lane road on which Holy Cross Lutheran Church is located on a Sunday morning, innocently trying to get to work at 7:45, and the person in front of you is driving at 30 mph – completely ignoring the posted 45 mph speed limit – do not, repeat DO NOT race around them. The likelihood of them being oldsters on their way to the 8:00, traditional service is 100%. You will have to hide from them when they pull into the parking lot one full minute behind you. Every. Damn. Time.

Thank you. That is all.

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