Hot (dog) date.

You know your marriage has lasted a long time when you consider mattress shopping a great date.


On the other hand, you know your marriage has hit a state of bliss when you’re out spending $1000 on a mattress and your spouse says, “I don’t care what mattress we get. You just pick out the one you like.”

Of course, that comment was more about reality than generosity. My husband could get a full eight hours of perfect sleep hanging from a meat hook in a butcher shop. Still, I figure I came out pretty sweet on the deal.

The main motivation for redecorating our bedroom over Christmas break was the desperate need to graduate to a larger mattress – one wide enough to keep our elbows and knees out of each other’s personal space, possibly the only way to allow our marriage to actually continue. Sadly, the re-do cost so much that we couldn’t afford the larger mattress for the larger bed until now. So this little outing was long-anticipated and much-desired.

But once I’d chosen the perfect mattress, the shopping date only got even better. While The Husband was dealing with paying and arranging delivery (and haul-away of our old mattress set), I wandered off to check out the kitchen ware section of the department store.

And came across an awesome item that no one on earth could possibly ever need:


Seriously? Are people really eating so many hot dogs that they need a decorative toaster for them and their buns? Even one that “fits thicker hot dogs?”

I’ll just have the mattress, thank you.

A note to any fellow Python fanatics out there: I recognize my grave error in continually using the word “mattress” in the above post, rather than “dog kennel.” I will be standing in a cardboard box all evening and singing “Jerusalem” to make up for it. “And did those feet, in ancient time, walk upon England’s mountains green…”

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2 thoughts on “Hot (dog) date.

  1. We recently bought a new mattress, too. It would have been lovely as a date—but we had both kids with us, too. Thankfully the staff were very patient with our preschooler and even set me up in a private space to BF our baby!

    Liked by 1 person

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