Questions I’m asking myself today

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They’re not earth-shattering, but here they are, in no particular order:

  1. How long will my fingernails continue to smell like spicy mustard, an entirely unjust punishment for being generous enough to make my husband’s lunch for tomorrow?
  2. How the hell do I stop getting notifications and updates literally every fifteen minutes about a friend’s Pampered Chef party? Is there some magic spell I can utter to impress upon the world’s mind that I would prefer to die in a ball of flames than attend one of these sponsored parties?
  3. As a “woman of a certain age,” how long can I continue to pull off the long-hair look? (In truth I answered that one for myself this morning: As long as I damn well feel like it. Screw you, societal standards.)
  4. Is it possible to make it all the way through election day without either throttling half of the population of the U.S. or falling into a deep, deep depression?
  5. How did minute bits of PVC pipe from the weekend kitchen plumbing project make their way upstairs to our freshly vacuumed bedroom rug? And will I put up with them all week or will I succumb to the dreaded mid-week vacuuming session?
  6. How many days in a row has it been John Ritter’s birthday? My FB feed has been announcing it daily for some time now. And isn’t he dead, anyway?

If you have answers to any or all of the above, please send them in on a self-addressed, stamped postcard to your nearest disgruntled, middle-aged mom.

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12 thoughts on “Questions I’m asking myself today

  1. Yes! Wear your hair exactly as you want it. I do! I’m also embracing the gray hairs too. I wish this election season were over, I do like to keep informed but I’m almost to the point of not caring. Netflix and the History channel have been a great distraction. As for the mustard? I wonder that when I get dirt under my nails.

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  2. I’m so over the upcoming election. I was having the same thoughts as you in that regard. Oh, yes, and for #3 too! My hair just touches my shoulders so I know it’s not considered long but I do wonder if there’s a magic age…. the same goes for coloring my hair.

    Liked by 1 person

      • Same here. My color is very close to my natural color (minus the pesky gray) but I just don’t know how or when to give it up. I had a friend whose hair turned a beautiful silver when she reached her 40’s. If I thought there was any chance that could happen, maybe I would consider it down the line but there’s no way that’s happening with me. My hair has never done what I wanted it to do.

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  3. Suggestions for coping strategies that may help with #4: when driving in the car, do not tune radio to the news station. Instead, leave it on whatever weird-rock-music station a young-adult offspring was listening to, last time he borrowed the car. When at home, have spouse set up a complicated enough Roku/Netflix combo that when you attempt to watch TV, you generally just find MASH reruns or cooking shows.

    Liked by 2 people

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