Still Mom.

When I first chose a title for this blog, it struck me that “Mom Goes On” worked in more than one way. At the time, I was trying to figure out what to do with myself as two of my three flew the nest. Then, too, I was discovering that the “mom life” does’t end just because the kids are turning into adults.

Here we are more than four years later, and I’m still finding it true: My “mom life” is still a bit part of what I do and who I am.

A bit of a family update (or news flash, if you’re a new reader finding your way here):

Oldest is nearing the completion of her doctorate. By the end of this year she’ll be taking her next step, probably post-doc work – we just don’t know where yet. But it’s looking more and more likely she’ll try to settle in the Chicago area, with her boyfriend (and soon to be fiance, we expect.) Happy, healthy, and successful. No small accomplishment for a young woman in science research, which is notoriously unfriendly to females. I’m thrilled to report that she and I still text daily. Sometimes because she actually needs her mama, and more often because we have something funny to share. There’s nothing like truly liking your own children.

The middle sister still lives at home, and I hope she never leaves. She’s an awesome housemate, and great fun to hang out with. After teaching in an urban middle school for over a year, she realized quite unexpectedly that she’d made a serious mistake in her career choice. And made the very brave decision to stop teaching. It’s no easy thing to work your ass off for a goal (she graduated summa cum laude with a double major of education and English), only to discover it’s entirely wrong for you. It was a traumatic time in our household when all that came down, I can tell you. Every mom skill I ever possessed came into play in order to talk her down from that metaphorical ledge and help her move on.

Youngest is at home, too, for his first year of teaching. Choral music conducting jobs were in short supply last spring, so he settled for another of his loves and is teaching high school physics for now. Bigger news: He became engaged over Christmas break, and is starting an apartment search – he and his fiancee will live together for a year or so before the wedding. It’s lovely, though a huge surprise that the youngest is the first to take that leap It’s funny how this kid operates. He’s a closed book most of the time, but then he’ll suddenly pose a serious question whose answer has major consequences, and want my opinion and advice. I’ve loved having him back with us for a short time before he leaves the nest entirely for a new life with his love. And that brings another one into the fold, a young woman who, IMHO, could use some supportive parenting.

I’ll never stop missing the days when they were all at home and we were one cohesive unit. But there are many joys to this stage of life; not the least of which is knowing that we all still care about and take care of each other.

The mom life is still good.




5 thoughts on “Still Mom.

  1. Wow, that’s a lot of changes in one year! Congratulations to your son on graduating and landing a teaching job and especially on his engagement! It must indeed feel odd to have the youngest child be the first one to marry. But mother-of-the-bride is always portrayed as a bigger deal than mother-of-the-groom, so maybe this way you will get broken in easily. 🙂

    Glad to hear the oldest is still doing well and making good progress on both the PhD and the relationship fronts. But very sorry to hear your middle daughter is having to rethink her entire career; that can be quite a challenge. Does she have any idea of what else she might want to do, or is she just clear so far that it’s not teaching?

    FWIW, I have 2 friends who each spent their first year teaching in low-income urban middle schools, which was enough to make them quit teaching when the year was up. Both worked for non-profits for quite a while; one is now director of a non-profit housing agency, and one eventually got an MSW and became a therapist. Your daughter’s education has certainly given her a solid set of skills. Best of luck to her as she tries to find the right fit for them, and good luck to you as you encourage her way through the process.

    (I’ve tried posting this a couple of times; apologies if it comes through as duplicates.)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Only got this one time, and I’m so glad to hear from you! Middle is considering either moving to elementary teaching or a master’s in speech and language pathology. I think the latter is more along her passion, but we’ll see. I know she’ll do something awesome, and the most important thing is that she’s her happy, joyful self again after sinking into a deep depression.
      I hope you’re still posting – I’d love to catch up on your family! How’s your son getting along in college? Am I right in remembering that he did a transfer?


      • Glad your daughter has a couple career possibilities in mind, which both sound like very doable transitions based on her education. And even better that she’s gotten back to a good place mentally.

        Yes, my son did transfer. He’s doing well academically, still hasn’t “found his people” socially, but at least keeps trying new activities to expand his circle.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh! I’m so happy to hear the news of your son! My best wishes to him and his girlfriend. My daughter busted her butt to get a Creative Writing degree in the shortest amount of time. What do you do with a degree in that….she didn’t want to be a writer. She found another passion, went back to school and is now very happy. Don’t ever give up! As I always tell my kids, “if one path doesn’t work, follow another…if that one doesn’t work, follow another….” We never fail, we learn. Never give up.


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