Have you ever had that thing where you think of something, and then before you know it that thing happens? It happens to me with catching a cold all the time – one day I’ll congratulate myself on staying healthy for quite a while, and the next day I have a sore throat, cough, and stuffy nose.
Today, though, was a whole new one for me. Just yesterday I’d been musing on how I seem to have gotten used to having the oldest and the youngest gone off to college and new lives. Haven’t talked to The Boy since he was home last weekend, have only texted a couple of times with Oldest, haven’t had a crying spell for two or three weeks.
But in the car this afternoon, The Husband reached into the glove compartment for a note pad and pulled out a map from the park where we rented our summer vacation cabin in July. Instant gut-clenching and tears, which, as it turns out, actually make it a little tricky to drive.
In a split second, that photocopied map took me to a wonderful week of swimming, fishing, games, DVDs, marshmallows, and quiet cups of coffee on the cabin deck. All of us together, an intimate and complete unit just as we’ve always been. At the time I was acutely aware that it was likely to be the last getaway we’d have, just the five of us together. With Oldest on the east coast for the next five or six years of grad school and everyone’s schedules at constant conflict, I don’t see it happening. At least not before there are spouses or fiancees to consider, as well.
And all that came rushing back in that tiny moment. The wonderful times together, the end of that old life, and learning how to navigate this new, quieter, slower, emptier (at least for now) life.
Nope. The tears are not finished yet.
3 thoughts on “And it all comes rushing back.”
You have my sympathies, it is hard when life changes and we just have to remind ourselves that the future will be just as good just a little different. At least we have the memories and there is nothing better than knowing we have given our little chicks the skills to survive! Stay strong!
Thank you for those words of encouragement. Most of the time now I can see that you’re right, but every now and then – bam! the grief hits me again.
I know, my two have also left home now and last year when the youngest went it took a long time to get used to not having either around and of course I still miss them enormously but it does get better….